Soul Take Courage

Dec 17

It’s 3:30 am on a Wednesday, and I’m lying awake in my bed battling the remnants of a lupus flare.

To say this year has been a challenge would be an understatement, but who has escaped the ills of our world this year?

Lately, I’ve been battling with myself trying to figure out how to overcome it all. How do I get through it?

Certain parts of my life and myself feel stuck, while other parts feel like they’re withering away. It’s amazing how generations before us understood that this season of the year feels barren in more ways than one.

I’ve been talking to my therapist, work colleagues, and friends, just trying to find some inspiration. Motivation.

I’ve felt lazy and blocked in my own faith and practice, conflicted between seeking answers and not wanting to know the truth.

But Mother Zora Neale Hurston said,

Truth is a letter from courage.

The Lord Will Make a Way Somehow

That’s the tune that has entered my mind on this early Wednesday morning.

In this song by Hezekiah Walker, the soloist sings,

This tedious journey may not be easy
You did not say it would be
Sometimes I get so lonely and disheartened
And I just don't want to be bothered
Then I began to think, Lord what I have done
To make this race so hard for me to run
Then I say to my soul, soul, take courage

A song from my childhood choir days has unexpectedly entered my mind and spoken to my heart, capturing my current state of being.

These last few weeks have felt incredibly lonely and disheartening to the point that I couldn’t identify what would soothe my soul.

I’ve isolated myself as I truly wrestled with the question why. Why me? Why is this happening? Why is it so hard? Why can’t the good arrive? Why can’t I win? Why?

Lord what have I done, to make this race so hard for me to run?

That’s been the cry of my heart.

Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever get an answer. I don’t think it makes a difference.

My last conversation with my therapist made me realize that I’m putting so much energy into trying to understand why I’m encountering the suffering, when the truth is that no one is escaping suffering.

That truth, that hard but honest truth, was the dose of medicine I needed.

I’m not saying to dismiss your grief and hardship, but more so, don’t become consumed by it.

My grief was consuming me, and at this point, it’s not helping me to show up in the healthiest way for myself.

While the truth is hard, Mother Zora must have known the same thing that Hezekiah Walker did when he wrote those lyrics.

When the storms of life are raging, the soul needs courage. Truth refocuses and grounds us so that we can even fathom the courage to walk in it.

The truth is, I may never understand suffering; I may find myself traversing periods of grief often. But eventually I have to find a way out, a way forward. That’s something my ancestors understood, and it’s part of the reason I’m here today.

Sometimes the soul needs to take courage to get through.

Understanding may not be accessible at the time, but courage is always there, rooted in truth.

The Lord Will Make a Way Somehow.

If there was a way in, there must be a way out.

Sometimes the very suffering that seems to hold you back must become the catalyst for courage to move you forward.

There is always a way out if we’re courageous enough to trust that we’ll find it.

So I’ll end this by resharing the lyrics that will probably become my current mantra.

So I say to my soul, soul, take courage.